soliloquies · of · a · serial · sensualist

Israeli ambassador


I think they should re-post him to Palestine, that he can have his preferences fulfilled and the Palestinians can feel as though they are getting their own back. See everyone would be happy!


Perhaps he should meet Murgatroyd? -->

So it’s now Friday and I find myself with two extra tickets to see the Tallis Scholars next Tuesday. They were originally bought for Cassandra, Gerald (her boyfriend) and me. She didn’t realise she is performing that night (in MacBeth).

Anyone in Perth, or do you know anyone, interested in renaissance choral music, who would like to join me?

Sitting here with a very dry martini. Feeling gutted.
After spending a couple of very magic months getting to know a wonderful woman, now it would appear she had all that she said she wanted in an intimate relationship in her grasp – a man that has self-development as his highest value; one with who wanted to commit; lived a life she aspired to; has intelligence; looks and not a skerrick of modesty. And then ran away from it. Very strange behaviour and somehow quite human.
Still don’t know what to do about the large gaping hole in my heart!

So now the next stage of my life starts – and the countdown to my 40th birthday continues!

Just started to do some washing this evening. And in my 16 year old daughter's clothes I find suspender stockings and lingerie.
Oh the fun of being a parent to a daughter that reminds me of me at the same age - even to the choice of colours.

I just looked at the entry before the last one. About going out to lunch single and coming back not.

And I realise since then, I have been single, not single, single, not single many times and interestingly with the same woman and in a very short period of time.

I keep having "situations" with the current love of my life. Where I do something that isn’t entirely, exactly and precisely the way she thinks it should be and then proceeds to tell me it is because of some personality issue I have.

After the last few relationships I’ve had (including Cynthia), I’m starting to wonder whether my role in life is that of a mirror to my partner's insecurities. The things they dislike about themselves are thrown at me as a form of accusation and often at a time that is not helpful to creating a relationship with happy memories (instead of a stream of situations).

This relationship has the potential to be that real special one, which we dream about. I am just getting sick of walking away with my guts in my hands after my entrails have been removed and examined for the improvement of others.

I am tempted to open the bottle of 2000 Isole e Olana Chianti I have been saving. And even break my vows of vegetarianism to consume someone's liver with broad beans (to the un-initiated, you need to be thinking of the American word for broad beans to understand this cultural reference).